Living Memories - coming to terms with loss

When a dear family friend died a few years ago, I was trying to express the idea of his impact and his legacy living on in all those who knew him. He had had an incredibly full, rich and varied life and many significant friendships with family, colleagues and relocating post retirement.

It seemed to me at the time that we don’t always have the language and images to reflect the enduring impact of those who have loved us. Even after their death, the relationship that we had continues, because what they gave to us in a previous time continues to shape how we see ourselves and how we choose to live. The ongoing influence of those we have loved and lost is also felt as part of a family, or a community or friendship group. No one controls or manages where their influence and impact ends up. 

The inspiration for the image came from a walk in Muir Woods, near San Francisco, where both living and dead trees are part of the whole forest. It’s impossible not to be affected by the grandeur and scale of the trees there, but it could have been inspired by any woodland.

The poem was read at the funeral of another family friend recently, who tragically died at a much younger stage in life and I hope that others will find it helpful. 

A sympathy card with this poem is available here.

LIVING MEMORIES

"Throughout the woodland lie the Fallen Trees
As much a part of life as those that stand.
Cut short in youth or weathered by long years,
Uprooted now, they stretch across the ground.

But see what lives are nurtured by them now,
The creatures seeking nests, the plants that climb.
And even the goodness from each leaf, each bough
Transformed, is found in myriad trees in time.

So those we love, now fallen from our sight
Live on in countless ways beyond their day.
What they held dear, in what they took delight,
Shape choices that we make upon our way.

So honour them, and live as they have shown
Their love sustains you as you carry on."